Selector Syndrome
On self-reflection, DJing and believing in yourself
As a multidisciplinary artist, one of those things that you learn to cultivate is your artist CV. This is a document that succinctly lays out the often-unconventional career path of the artistically inclined, making an unknowable lifestyle suddenly legible to someone who works in the straight world. It can be particularly helpful when applying for grants. What one must decide is exactly what goes in and what stays out. I’ve recently observed that whenever I do this exercise, I write a biography section where I describe myself as “a rapper, producer, writer and poet.” Conspicuously absent is the activity that I’ve taken part in on more occasions than nearly any other: “DJ.”
Why is this? Is DJing somehow a less serious endeavour than rapping or writing? Over the last few decades, the DJ has become a central figure in society for millions of people around the world. The disc jockey holds arguably the most powerful and influential position in all of music. So why the reluctance? I’ve been playing records in various capacities for almost as long as I’ve been rapping. House parties, pubs, bars, clubs, restaurants, festivals, you name it. But for some reason, I’ve often treated DJing as just another skill in my toolbox.
Some strange mental gymnastics that have prevented me from thinking of myself to be a proper DJ. I don’t mean to imply that I think that I can’t DJ at all. That’s not it. What I’m talking about is something that I will refer to as Selector Syndrome. Similar to the crippling effects of imposter syndrome that paralyze us and prevent us from reaching our true potential by making us feel unworthy, Selector Syndrome has made me reluctant in considering myself “a real DJ,” despite my hours and decades of experience.
I would tell people that “I DJ sometimes” but would rarely tell them that “I’m a DJ” the same way that I would say “I’m a rapper” without hesitation. Perhaps being friends with some of the world’s greatest DJs has given me pause. Their hard-earned, boundless technical skills make it so I wouldn’t dare compare what I’m doing behind the decks to what they do. But there’s also something inside of me that has caused me to hold back from committing fully to being a DJ.
It’s true that there have always been two distinct styles of DJing: the club DJ and the selector. Derived from the name used for Jamaican reggae soundsystem DJs, a selector today is someone who focuses on choosing outstanding songs, less concerned about the mixing and transitions between tracks, if there are any in the first place. This can be an internet or terrestrial radio DJ or someone playing music in a restaurant (what I call a charcuterie DJ). This is the majority of the DJing that I’ve done over the years.
The most famous of this archetype would have to be the iconic headmaster of The Loft in New York, David Mancuso. A cult figure who threw iconic invitation-only parties at his private residence in downtown Manhattan back in the seventies and eighties, Mancuso preferred to let his songs play out in their entirety with no alterations, effects or transitions as they came out of his pristine Klipschorn speakers. “I don't play the music, the music plays me,” he was known for saying.
My dad Teddy was a selector. He had a radio show on CJSR in Edmonton for over 20 years called the Black Experience in Sound. Despite performing at hall parties in town, I never saw him mix two songs together in my life. This didn’t lessen his impact, as he was posthumously inducted into the Stylus DJ Awards Hall of Fame in 2010. His indomitable spirit of discovery rubbed off on me as a kid.
The other side of the coin is the club DJ, magicians like Larry Levan, Jeff Mills, Carl Cox and Frankie Knuckles who used slight of hand on the ones and twos to smoothly bring new sounds out of the ether, compositions reconstituted out of thin air, like skyscrapers jutting out of thick fog. These superstar DJs are shaman-like in their mastery over soundwaves.
If I’m honest, I always felt more of a kinship with the fraternal order of DJs than I did with other rappers. I’ve had my moments here and there where I’ve been involved with transcendent nights behind the decks. But I always mentally kept myself in Selector World, where technical skill is less of a priority.
That is, until now. After a lifetime of part-time selecting and various periods of elevated interest in the craft, I finally feel ready to give DJing pride of place in my multidisciplinary platform. I want to meld the spiritual attitude of the selector with the detailed skillset of the club DJ, raising the standard of my sets. This might be overly earnest to bring up as an established musician but I don’t think I’ve really seen anyone publicly deconstruct their competing artistic selves in this way before so I thought I’d just be vulnerable with y’all about it.
Beyond rapping, I’ve spent most of my life learning about music and sharing it with others in various ways. I’ve come to realize that playing songs for people on the dancefloor has the potential to be the most effective use of the knowledge I’ve acquired across all aspects of my life in art, the distribution method with the least amount of friction. I’ve been practicing and working tirelessly to improve my skills. I’m looking forward to a point in the hopefully not-so-distant future where my DJ gigs become equal in number and quality to my live performances.
Has anyone else felt like this with DJing or their artistry? Sound off in the comments.
Come see me DJ…
June 19 - Hamilton - Mills Hardware (Free with RSVP)
Supercrawl Launch Party and Disco Night
June 28 - Toronto - Sounds Good (Downstairs) with DO NOT PUSH!
Sounds from the UK hardcore continuum - UKG, bassline, grime and more
August 15 - Elora - Riverfest Elora
September 14 - Victoria - Rifflandia Festival
More to be announced soon, feel free to message me about any parties or festivals you have coming up anywhere in the world. I’m ready to play.
My new single “Infiltrator” with veggi is out now! Hip-house vibes just in time for summer, I hope you vibe with it.
The new edition of my Hazlitt column came out this week. It’s a deep dive on Playboi Carti’s album MUSIC and a meditation on whether separating the art from the artist is possible in his case. You can read it here.
You can find me updating my playlists or hanging on Bluesky, Twitter and Instagram. You can listen to my music on Spotify, Apple Music and Bandcamp and you can get Cadence Weapon merchandise here. Read my monthly column in Hazlitt, pick up your copy of Bedroom Rapper here and please rate it on Goodreads.
I love this Rollie! I think most of my favourite DJs might hesitate to call themselves ‘DJs’.
I think the selector job is the most important of the many DJ skills that matter. Mixing is second. But there are other skills that matter nowadays, even though I think they’re a sign of sickness in music culture: the ability to amass instagram followers, for example. And the ability to look cute dancing behind the decks for reels/shorts/tiktok clips, as another example of modern DJ skills that have usurped the classic skills of selection and mixing.